i apologize for nothing.

x

"I mean, look at her! Her chest is so huge, I feel tiny in comparison to just that."

"Yeah, you are kind of small, aren't you?"

"Is it enough?"

A hand reaches out to brush her breast and then, breathily;

"Yeah."

x

(we were so young, so naive. but you never stay like that; not for long.) 

"

    I still remember; warm brown eyes and soft gold scarves and hesitant wandering fingers.

    I told you I was lost and you said you couldn't find yourself - but we were never more lost than when we were with each other.

    I'm a coward, I'll freely admit that. You scared me, you know - terrified me. Your carefree - almost eager - attitude towards death. The ease that you patched yourself up after heartbreak. And your arrogance - arrogance that I once found ohso charming - that let you presume that I'd marry you one day and we'd have kids and I'd name the first two and you'd name the last two.

    But then, I saw it. It. The cruel, cold pleasure in your eyes as you threatened your own death; the uncaring tilt of your lips (I used to call them smiles but they're more like knives now, glinting in the light); the selfish, selfish fingers that only took and took and took.

    I'd like to tell you the truth, someday. Because...I did care about you, I did. And while I couldn't help but wish your toffee-eyes were sky-blue; that you were a bit shorter, a bit leaner - I know that you couldn't help but wish that my henna-eyes were just that bit lighter, that my hair was blonde(thenredandthenblack;whichiswhyyoustartedtalkingtomeagain) and my lips were thinner.

    Oh, yes, I used you. But you...you used me too.

"