brainstorm

i don't want to embarass you and i'm not out to impress but
       you're the kind of man cummings and bronte and austen and duffy are
       inspired by
                          you make my muse dance, with her flaxen
                          silver entwined hair and opal eyes containing
                          an aurora, she dances to your words as they
                          rain down on my psyche. featherlight touches
                          make her howl and laugh airily with glee, fingers
                          stretched as far as they can go with ink running
                          down her face as something rushes along my nerves
                          like liquid lightning lighting up her maelstrom sky

she whispers a thousand words into my ears and my hands can't keep up, words flying across my screen,
across my napkin
           my paper
           my skin,

and there's barely enough t i m e left in the world to write barely enough for you.

you will, you will, because

[hers-yours-our]

walk away

(for thedreamer, pour ma belle)

you watch his back,
  not because you're protective,
but because he's walking away,

his shirt is perfectly ironed -- by his mother, no doubt --
  and its a blankblankblank white,
and a cynical part of you remarks that it looks kind of like these walls that i'm trapped in,

you can still see his hair,
  feel it, even; his face once hovering inches above yours,
and your hands used to card through, smoothly; you've always had the best pokerface

there's an iloveyou somewhere in there
  but you think it's diminishing unlike the space he makes between you two, footsteps echoing like drums;
if he's not around, who can hear you fall?

commissions&collabs masterpost

to juniper:

Softcover by thedreamer

Internal Battle by thedreamer

because his eyes by the dreamer

Time Lapse by thedreamer

collaborations:

vintage love (thedreamer)
vintage love (juniper) 
by thedreamer and juniper (collaboration)

from juniper:

gaps between my hands for beth

loveleaks for thedreamer

heartbreak tea for conor.r

shall i compare thee to a summer's night? - earthgoddess

walk away - thedreamer

dear dryad daughter, time's tickin' - thedreamer

light bringer

you stole a pair of wings from a malakhim, I.O.U
and fluttered from woman to woman delighting
in their sweet nectared kisses and spreading your
pollen-patented promises that would not bear fruit;
        you were a hardened butterfly, with
        arching wings of stained glass in a
        brilliant baby blue, apple green and a
        soft rose, lined with diamonds; no one
        could keep you in a jam jar for show
        and tell and kicks, could they?

.

you stole all the lights from the stars,
just so you could place them in your
irises and fake the sparkle in your eyes.
and you ripped all the warmth from
the sun, then wove it into your wide
cheshire cat grin so that it could smother
and pretend to be as warm as wool;
        you've been writing the whole wide
        world messages across the fading
        breath on fragile glass. but no one
        walks past your clear, colourless
        wings anymore, do they?

you need to learn that no one wants to
see all the worst parts of themselves
reflected in the condescending cool
corneas of your eyes;
        glass eyes?
        no, there's a silver lining in there,
        somewhere, right? mirrors

.

even the morningstar fell;
you're a creature of pride.

.

with wings flat against your back,
you dive from your evanescent
cloudy mind hoping that the rushing
ground will meet you;
        hoping that the rushing ground
        will embrace you?

.

and i am the earth, wide
and vast and greenwithenvy
at your glittering, clearcut wings;
so different from the twining,
suffocating vines of old even though
they're the only things i've ever really
known.

and i am the earth, wide
and vast and greenwithenzy,
i'll let my colours and sights,
be refracted through you,
sending a thousand respledent
orbs of light float through the wind,
like bubbles drifting off to lands unknown.

        and i am the earth, wide
        and vast and i'll embrace you,
        i'll swallow you whole.

.

even the morningstar fell.

.

midnight snack

your skin swallows up the sun,

until you're fit to burst with sunrays leaking through your fingertips,

your tongue traces thought-ridden lips as your cloudy mind

sheds judgements like clothes for charity

precise and well-worn;

your silence says more than it should,

(

slithering up to my heart, [f ang s] sinking in,

the poison in my veins hums for your voice;

i'm w r i t h i n g                     gossamer skin,

  underneath

pulled [tight] over blood+bones,

fireworks filtered through fallen lids,

&& 

[there's a song written on the inside of my wrists]

seagreen lyrics singing lifebloods,

as the moon creeps out, child-like curiosity,

inky ghosting locks liplocking across the night,

milky moonbeams f

                                a

                                     l

                                         l

                                                        to earth, 

to kiss my buttermilk bones;

and now i'm always hungry,

for pale skin and luminous blue eyes,

[for that blue roadmap of amazonian rivers to to your liquid lusty love]

who else can cool my blood?

there's some kind of animal trapped in between the smooth muscle

and endothelial layers of my vocal chords,

pushing through like a thick vine to overtake my face;

{please, i'm howling for you}

you: carmine candy and home and real,

i need to be (wholer),

because my breathing w a n e s,

blueblueblue in the midnight air,

tendrils of heat s p r e a d i n g like wildfire;

and the moon . . . waxes, leaving the night sky,

ravenous for adventure and [p o  o   l    s] into the ocean;

even the sky feeds from my awe of you;

in the dark is the best way to hear your heartb e a t,

thick heartstrings like black powerlines p a s s i n g  t h r o u g h 

the core of every star from you to me,

.h.o.o.k. onto my diaphragm,

make my pace as they d r a g me to you,

over gravel, grit && grass,

bloody feet on the yellow brick road,

hansel and gretel follow me home;

)

i smile

-  k c a b -

 at you patiently&patiently,

serrated incisors glinting in sunlight;

and we're only human

-

[the autumn moon is bright, tonight]

it's not rocket science

i think of you more than i probably should but,
i get blown  a w a y  every single time that i think about,
how someone out there has made you for me;
that there is, literally, sugars, sugars, sugars, an endless litany of them,
the random sequence of sugary bases in every single helical twist of your dna,
shared by no other being in the whole fucking universe,
mirroring your teasing tones and confused smile that i so adore,
gave you those p-p-perfect eyes, and hair and skin and voice and mind,
someone out there built you for me.


(how could i not believe in God?
 how could i ever not want you, foolish, foolish man?)

impatient child

when you'll let me,

i'll kiss you with my mouth,

whispering all these little confessions,

to the secret places between your teeth.

(iloveyouneedyouwon'teverletyougo)

until then, i'll just blow a frustrated breath,

across my fringe and it'll part perfectly,

showing the whole world where your hands

should be.

walls

travel-worn trainers tip-toe
and it kind of feels like i've dipped my
finger and the edges of my
consciousness in the burning cold
of liquid nitrogen.
there's a cool, biting wind, snarling
you can't do this, you can't do this,
and gravel's never felt so sharp through
red rubber and my sole, my soul is
slip-slip-sliding against cool, metal walls;


you're cold, so cold
and i can't scale you.

friday night lights

see, she's the kind of girl who
perms her hair and bothers
with mascara and me? i have
nothing but split ends and dried tears
to hold my eyelashes in place.

see, she's the kind of girl who
you'd be proud to introduce
to your folks back home and me?
your parents would hate me.

but, see, she's the kind of girl who
would only say i love you when she
needs to and hand you tissues after
you sneeze and want you to pay her
attention rather than the liverpool
man u match going on that night.

and me? i'm fucked up enough to find it
hard to say i love you but at least, you'd
know i mean it and i always always will
and i'd still kiss you if you had a cold
and curl up next to you with chicken soup
and pull out some beers and make you
nachos for that friday night, watching in HD,
even though i couldn't care less about
football; it'd mean being with you, right?

see, she's the kind of girl who
you think you should be with,
and me? i'm the woman you
should be with, alright?

slowly losing grip

i can't sleep and
i can't eat and
i can't love
anyone 
the way
i love you.

possibly

you made your defences from all the leftover bitterness of her supernova-love,
and me? i break you down, break down walls made from the bright light,
reflected in your smiles
with nothing, really,
because loving
you is the
easiest
thing
.

oh, these worthless words

i sing for you,
for you,
and you're always asleep.

i speak for you,
for you,
and you never hear me.

i look for you,
for you,
and you're never here.

i love only you,
only you,
and you'll never even


fucking know.

And burn the long-lived phoenix, in her blood

the day i met you, i was reborn,

and the day i met you, i died.

this is more than

never enough.

celebrating supermoon

they say there's a supermoon out tonight,
the first time in eighteen years;
you've never believed in coincidences.

(eighteen years is too coincidental,
 it's when you first start feeling lonely,
 and it's my first debut to existence;
 an errant thought in a young girl's
 womb.)

(eighteen years is too coincidental,
 as you left the icy square prehistory
 and memories of the wine-red sun.)

(eighteen years is too coincidental,
 because that's how long it's taken,
 for me to fly home.)

(oh but, eighteen years is too coincidental,
 because this is the year i realise i kinda
 fucking love you.)

(and eighteen years is too coincidental,
 for this to be a coincidence.)

there's a supermoon out tonight,
for the first time in eighteen years,
it's there to celebrate youandme.

highway to heaven

streetlights hang down and try to grace your skin,
with their warm, honey light-embrace;
you're a long way from home tonight,
and all roads lead back to, back to me.

stumble into white cotton sheets with me,
our steps are heavy with sleep and lust,
a flurry of tongues and limbs,
and all roads lead back to, back to this.

come home, come home

once upon a time,
i took the stars from my eyes,
joined them with yours,
and kept them in a silver
heart-shaped locket around my neck,

i used this chain to find my way back,
to you, to you, to you,
torn, tired trainers trailing
across the vast night sky;
empty as stars and moons,
shy from your smile
you are home, always.

honey, this is love

my heart skips beats and my blood thickens,

like honey and warm milk,

at the sound of your name,

we're only human.

sleep, per chance to dream

my joints creak open like a bedroom door,
they invite you in,
you're never here, where i need you to be.

i wonder if i can just s t o p,
but there's a promise written
between the lines of your hands,
they will never stop haunting me,
my white cotton sheets rip in my grip,
and i dream like smoke,
you twist and turn and dance
around my consciousness.

i could use some sleep tonight.

six steps to survival

i.
    you're going out to war one day,
    over the hills and far away,
    dulce et decorum est, pro patria mori,
    unknown yet to you is just another story.

ii.
    you're going out to war one day,
    over the hills and far away,
    you've not told your parents yet,

    'cos you know they'd just get upset,

    but you're already near three and a half,
    and you think it's time to make your own damned path.

iii.
    you're going out to war one day,
    over the hills and far away,
    don't you know what lies ahead?
    death and blood's not in your head,
    for you are young and Glory calls,
    so you plan to leave in the early Fall,

iv.
    you're going out to war today,
    over the hills and far away,
    run your fingers along her skin,
    paint and taint her with pleasant sin,
    she cries for you in the early morn,
    but you, you are so very long gone.

v.
    you're going out to war today,
    over the hills and far away,
    you trudge through mud and spice and sand,
    bitter boots cry as they touch the promised land,
    not knowing that back at home,
    there's a little bundle of your blood and bones,
    they'll call her 'dear' and 'heart' and 'love'
    and hope your return's as swift as doves,
    because she has your everblue eyes,
    that are passed down to whom i've ties.

vi.
    you went out to war that day,
    over those hills and far away,
    lady luck waved the union jack,
    and you, little duck, little dove, came back.

dedicated to his grandfather, for whom the man i love would not be around today. war is foolish and pointless and it's miraculous he survived. i've never been more grateful for anything in my entire life, but i'd kneel and kiss this man's feet for living. thank you for surviving. your grandson is awesome.

breaking point

you're the sun,

warm and comfortable on my back,

burnt, black skin peels away in face of your radiance.

you heal as you tear to shreds,

e v e r y piece of me,

i'm being stretched beyond my limits,

don't ever please 

stop.

( i don't need you & please don't leave me

there's more to my life than you & you're everything

your happiness is mine & why do you love her and not me? )

heartstring

. one .

{tracing the inkblue lines across creamy parchment,

 & writing out the rhythm, one-two, of your heart.}

. two .
{running underneath the black corded powerline, high above,
 electric connections in 2 hearts, skip a beat, over the distance.}

. three .

{looking out for the bloodline thrumming with redredlife,

 your touches hold  me and your pulse makes this real.}

let's get naked

this isn't art;
this is profound truth.
and when you strip my words,
peel back each metaphor and simile,
and oxymoron and adjective,
look at each individual letter,
bared and curvy&dots,
there's just one profound truth.

i love you, you dork.
. you're just too fucking proud to strip my words back and see it .

love&time conspiracy

          an ever-hungry mouth, like a demon-child, swallows up golden sodium chloride grains,
          that flow through cool glass curves,
          time runs.

          greedy fingers reach up for the fireworks sometimes, as they light up the face of a thousand lost souls,
          thrown into the darkness again, when the stars and moon are blown out like candles,
          love runs.

          through our veins and our smiles and our hearts.
          this is it.

i write short things,
for a tall man,
i have short words,
for long moments,


because oxymorons,
are amusing.

fall apart

there are stars and galaxies and  diamonds falling apart in my dreams,
i dream of your eyes as they look at mine,
there are stars and galaxies and diamonds falling apart in your eyes,

words and imagery and wishes and inspiration kept in a shoebox,
of old, yellowing envelopes and scented violet napkins,
drip, dripping, dropping out through the corners of thirsty sahara eyes,
waterfalls from my pillow to make an ocean underneath my bed,
to match your eyes.

memento

she writes your story in 

lifeb l o o d,

and keeps you real,
in a cacophony of
empty fiction.

ghost of you

i.
                                      my sleep is haunted by a burning baritone,
                                      e c h o e s in my mind's ear like seraphim song.


                                      i dream of a city of glass lit up by white fires.
                                      i dream of ivory dresses and a topaz necklace.
                                      i dream of words entwined like an ivy crown.
                                      and i  l i e
                                                    ...because i dream of only  y o u.

ii.
                                      my days are shadowed, hallowed,
                                      feet trailing on pallid grounds,
                                      lit up by moonlight,
                                      long gone,
                                      and detour signs,
                                      lead me home.

iii.

                                      i am empty;
                                      all my words
                                      are ghost-written
                                      in lemon juice.





                                      waiting endlessly to wake from a sleep,
                                      my world is without a sun.

platinum albums

i am fire and blood and screams and rage,
your voice is spearmint toothpaste,
on an aeon-old burn,

your heartbeat is the soundtrack of my mind,
but your pulse fades beneath my fingertips,
as i hug you goodbye.

ceasefire romance

his heart b e a t s
a new brand of morse code,
hope in times of war;
you are mine.

i've spent my whole life,
in the dark,
trying to find this.

divine retribution

seraph blades,
slice at your heart;

hope hurts.

wait a minute, did he--?
he can't have. no way.
you try again.
your eyes glance to the corner of the room and then flick back up,

you catch the slight blur as he looks away hurriedly.

triumph shines in you brighter than gold,
but bitterness coats your lungs,
and tongue.
this is badgood, i don't know.

life's seasonings

pillars of bitter white salt,
curl and crumble,
at the echoes of your honest,
fiery voice,

my resolve is gone,
i can't do this.

mindclipse

everything is eclipsed,

by the brilliant blue of your eyes

and the symmetric smirk of your mouth.

so i wander the world in greys,
monochrome memories and,
ashen aspirations.

you're so close,
you can count,
each ebony eyelash,
and make wishes,
as your breath fans my face softly.


wish, wish, wish,
for me.

(god knows, i wish for you with every part of me,

not just my,

eyes.)

this is a battle of wills,

and a battle of tongues,

in every way.

so, are you ready?

we're all just coloured chalk,

particles and atoms and shades of rainbows,

and a freeze-frame of the bright bursting bubble,

and the head-tilt capturing the precise angle of refraction in sunrays,

we crumble into dust,

at the smallest bit of pressure.

gaps between my hands

so, number one,
what to call you?
we could have some fun.

so, number two,
what to call you?
it could be just me and you.

so, number three,
what to call you?
i know you wanna be with me.

so, number four,
what to call you?
come meet me on the dance floor.

so, number five,
what to call you?
i can show you what it feels like to be alive.

don't bother to linger,
get in line,
'cos i'm waiting for the right finger,
to loop around mine.

for bethany. i love you, wife.
now, stop mentally cheating on me, kthankxbai.

waterlogged heart

this is it and --

and your eyes

are this weird

annoying

shade of blue

that makes my

heart drown in

itself

[and i can't help but

think if this is it

because there is

there is -- i can't,

i'm not imagining

this, am I? Am I?

but there is a little

something here like

a spark in the dark

or fireworks, the 

kind that flash there

behind your eyes

or would if you'd

come,

and maybe this is

it, you know that

feeling between us

this whole time was

more than just an

epic Odysseus -

Penelope love story -

I'll wait longer than

she ever did, and

Aphrodite was a 

virgin anyways so

she can't even know

how much i want

you

and  it kills me,

how i can't ever say

or write enough on

your skin, i need to

stain it with ink and

even then i can't

ever do your fucking

beauty enough justice

and i can't ever show

everyone the exact way

you rip the breath from

my lungs and how your

laugh spreads across my

skin like the wind through

a barren forest, bringing it

and me to life and how

your smile isn't ever

lopsided or crooked or

anything because everything

in your life has a balance;

even your face and i just

love you]

and they meet

mine from all

the way over

there.

vintage love

"please don't leave me alone..."

"i promise i won't ever leave you alone"

the sentence that echoes through everyone's mind--like a thousand voices that drown you in solitude as you huddle within yourself by yourself.

the sentence that echoes through your mind when you see them, an endless mantra because, goddamnit, you believe in nothing -- nothing -- but them,

our hearts are like g l a s s

chipped antiques stacked on dusty shelves,

no one wants.

written with thedreamer, who is awesome but - sadly - not dreamy. ;D

love you.

(kind of)